Painful Endings = New Beginnings

As I’ve said before, I’m focusing on all aspects of my health this year and this includes my relationships.

I recently made the painful and heartbreaking decision to end my relationship with my boyfriend after nearly six years. Like most relationships, we had our ups and downs, breaking up and getting back together a few times over the years. But this fight was different, for me anyway. This time I realized we weren’t in a healthy relationship.

I took a step back and thought about the last few years. We’d been stuck in the same place we were two or even three years ago. We weren’t growing as a couple. And as mentor of mine has often said – if you’re not growing, you’re dying. I didn’t want to have a dying relationship. While we have lots of history, we also have lots of issues – issues that we can’t seem to compromise on or work through without hurting each other. 

It’s painful to leave someone who I’ve spent so much time with and who has a large piece of my heart. But it’s also the opportunity for new beginnings.

In the end the day I left was just my beginning.

It’ll be healthier for me to be alone for now. It’ll give me time to focus on me and that could be the best thing for my next relationship.

Creature of Habit

I once heard that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. So I figure it should take about as long to create a good one. 

So here are some of the new habits I’m taking up:

• Workout at least 5 days a week for at least 45 minutes.
• Pack breakfast and lunch at least 4 days a week.
• Shop at the farmer’s market at least 3 weeks out of the month.

This all relates back to my SMART goals that focus on physical, emotional, mental and financial health.

With 5 days into become a creature of habit, I’ve hit the gym and packed my meals every day this week. I made it to the farmer’s market last Sunday and going to on this Saturday. 

Keeping my fingers crossed that I keep it up for the next 16 days too!

Setting SMART Goals

I’ve never been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I used to make them only to inevitably fail within weeks, if not days, of the new year. So a number of years ago I resolved to stop making resolutions. Instead, I started setting goals that were supposed to get me to do things on an ongoing, regular basis.

One year, I decided that I would read at least one new book a month that wasn’t related to my work. I’ve always loved to read, but leading up to that decision I had noticed that I really hadn’t read for pleasure for a really long time. It’s one of the best goals that I set because I still try to read at leaset one new book a month.

Well, this year I wanted to step up my goal setting a notch and decided that I would focus on a theme. This year I’m making my health a priority, and not just my physical health, but my mental, emotional, and financial health as well. And I want to be able to track just how well I’m doing,so I’m going to set SMARTgoals:

This means writing all of my goals down with specific details and then checking to see how I’m doing against the measures that I’ve set for myself. It’ll be an interesting year. Just looking at what I’ve written, I get a little overwhelmed, but keeping in mind that I’ve set Attainable and Realistic goals I think I’ll be able to do this. Of course, only time will tell.

Count Down to Europe

I’m officially counting down the days until my European vacation…11! We’ve been planning this trip for nearly six months, so it’s a little surreal that we’re gonna be getting on a jet plane in just a week and a half.

It’s a good thing that there are four of us going. We split up the planning responsibilities – that made things so much easier. Pansy was in charge of transportation and lodging for Edinburgh, Aberdeen and London. I took care of the same for Brussels and Paris. Jason was the best person to arrange for gadgets and electronics, including cell phones and plug adapters. And Nan? Well, what else would he be better at than figuring out restaurants and bars. We’ve all got ideas for activities and are trying to make sure we get to most of them.

Since we’ll be traveling via planes, trains and automobiles during our trip, I’m really, really trying to not overpack. In fact, I’d like to only bring a roll-away carry-on. But with the cold winter clothes I’m packing, I’m not sure if that’s gonna be possible. So, here’s my plan: only pack enough clothes for 5 or 6 days, take no more than 3 pairs of shoes (including the ones I’ll be wearing on the plane), and do laundry at least once somewhere along the way. That’s the plan. Let’s see if I can actually stick with it.

I’m gonna need to do a practice packing session this weekend to see if everything I want to bring is going to fit in two pieces of luggage, one to check-in and the other as my carry-on. Of course, I’ll probably coming back with three, since I already plan to bring along a collapsible tote bag for souvenirs.

Wish me luck as the Diva gets ready to do Europe! Until my next entry, happy shopping.

Return of the Diva

Well, it’s certainly been a while since my last blog post. Lots has happened – trips have been taken, new restaurants have been found and MANY shoes have been purchased – what else would you expect from the diva?

In any event, I’m off shortly for a much anticipated and long-awaited vacation to…EUROPE! Yes, I’ll be half-way around the world in just 3 weeks with good friends for what’s sure to be an adventure.

We’ll be starting off with a day in Las Vegas and then heading on Virgin Atlantic to Edinburgh via London. What’s the attraction to Scotland – the distilleries, of course. Then we’re heading to Brussels for a couple of days – home of the pom frites (that’s French fries to us Yankees), Belgin beer and chocolate. We’ll then train it to the City of Lights – Paris – for wine, amazing French cuisine and shopping (I’m saving room for shoes!). We’ll end our vacay with a trip across the English Channel via the Chunnel to London, where I hope to find some great, old used books.

Five cities in four counties in 16 days! It’ll be crazy – but well worth it. Stay tuned for photos of the sights! I’m hoping to blog along the way. But will be on Facebook and Twitter for sure. You can follow my adventure at facebook.com/jocelyn.collado or twitter.com/jocelyncollado.

Conversations Part. Deux

My sister and her family were traveling back to the Big Island this weekend for a friend’s daughter’s 1st birthday party, so I volunteered to drop them off at the airport.  I had a funny conversation with my 3-year-old newphew in the car on the way to the airport.  It went something like this:

Jaydon: Auntie Jocelyn, you only have one car seat in your car.

Auntie: That’s right, Jaydon. I have one car seat in my car.

Jaydon: You should have two car seats in your car like ours.

Auntie: But Auntie doesn’t need any car seats in her car.

Jaydon: But yes you do. You need two car seats in your car.

Auntie: Auntie doesn’t need any car seats in her car because she doesn’t have any babies.

Jaydon: But yes you do. You have a baby named Baxter.

Auntie: Jaydon, Baxter is a dog so he doesn’t need a car seat.

My "baby" Baxter.

Conversations with a 3-year-old

My nephew Jaydon is 3 1/2 and his brother is 1 1/2.  I have the most interesting conversations with these two boys. Here’s what a recent dinner with them and their mom was like:

Jaydon: Mommy, I want to talk.

Mommy: What do you want to talk about.

Jaydon: Goldfish.

Auntie: Did you see a goldfish today, Jaydon?

Jaydon: No, I ate a goldfish.

Auntie: You ate a goldfish?

Mommy: Jaydon are you talking about the kind of goldfish that swim or the kind you eat?

Jaydon: The kind you eat.

Mommy: He’s talking about goldfish crackers.

Auntie: Oh.

My nephew Jaydon